//Golden Globes Predictions, Results, and Live-Blog 2012

Golden Globes Predictions, Results, and Live-Blog 2012

Tonight at 8:00pm EST (7:00pm CST), the Hollywood Foreign Press Association airs its annual Golden Globes Awards telecast on NBC. The ceremony is considered by some to be among the most decisive of Oscar precursors, considered by others to be one of Hollywood’s more extravagant punching bags and considered by at least one person to be a more reliable harbinger of cinematic quality than the Oscars themselves.

This year, in an effort to bolster the fledgling ratings that plague many awards ceremonies, the HFPA is bringing back controversial Globes host Ricky Gervais. Himself Globe winner, Gervais is known for his scathingly derisive humor and his propensity to turn attending stars into his personal punching bags. His humor is considered by some to be a breath of fresh air, effectively deflating the oversized egos of Hollywood’s elite. Others find him a snarky and insufferable troll, and at least one person considers Gervais to be the most reliably awesome source of quality awards hosting.

Tonight, as I watch, I will be posting results and my reactions live both here and on Twitter. Below are my own predictions for tonight’s winners (movies only) alongside the actual results as they come in. A disclaimer, however: take my predictions with a grain of salt. Film Misery does not claim responsibility for any loss – financial or otherwise – incurred by holding the below predictions as Gospel.

Where do you expect me to go wrong with my predictions? What are you hoping to see on this year’s telecast? Are there any TV shows you are personally rooting for? Stay tuned throughout the nights for updates!

Golden Globe Awards
Live Blog 2012

10:00pm: If you’re still reading this live-blog…you are crazy. Like, Meg Ryan Crazy. But I still love you.

9:59pm: FINAL THOUGHTS – not a terrible telecast, though Gervais was almost disappointingly tame. I am beginning to learn these awards shows are infinitely more tolerable with Twitter and live-blogging to accompany you.

9:57pm: My final count: 9 out of 14. I sucked pretty hard at the smaller categories, and the Scorsese win was a mild twist. Still, I should probably leave the predictions to Alex moving forward.

9:55pm: Nice! The guy from Cowboys & Aliens is presenting!!!

9:53pm: Final Category, Best Drama is up next. Here’s hoping my Uncle Boonmee write-in campaign paid off!

9:51pm: I was rooting for Fassbender, of course, but Clooney really was the best part of the otherwise blah Descendants. He deserved to win.

9:50pm: George Clooney is simply asking Fassbender’s penis what we mere mortals are too afraid to ask.

9:46pm: A quick note on Rooney Mara. When debating the movie with my brother this weekend, he told me part of the reason he loved it was because Lisbeth was “hot.” This may be a revealing reason why that re-adaptation doesn’t really work.

9:41pm: …or was it Cosmo? I may be confusing the dog from Beginners. Sorry…all Jack Russell Terriers look alike.

9:41pm: Again, Uggie has charmed my freaking socks off.

9:38pm: Yes, Meryl, you DID just yell “NOOO!” at the conductor!

9:35pm: My The Iron Lady Haiku Review: Meryl Streep Meryl / Streep Meryl Streep Meryl Streep / Meryl Streep Meryl

9:34pm: If Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy needed anything, it was a good “kicking a blind kitten” scene.

9:33pm: The Artist now has a commanding lead, having won twice as many Globes as any of its competition!

9:31pm: By the way, “Mme. Dujardin” is named Alexandra Lamy. Chalk that one up to patriarchy. Excuse me while I get my male feminist card revoked.

9:28pm: Sort of hoping that video Mme. Dujardin was taking on her phone of her husband winning makes it to YouTube.

9:27pm: For those of you who haven’t seen the other Hazanavicius/Dujardin collaborations, the OSS-117 spoofs, you’re seriouslymissing out.

9:21pm: I’ve been at this for almost 3 hours. Wow – it’s really hard work being amusing only to myself.

9:19pm: Julie Bowen looks like a Disney Princess. That’s not a compliment.

9:17pm: Modern Family really needs to stop winning every award under the sun. It’s officially square to love that show now.

9:14pm: So far, no film tonight has won more than one Golden Globe. That’s somewhat surprising.

9:06pm: Wow, this is the best-narrated acceptance speech in the history of the Globes!

8:59pm: Did anybody else notice that Dame Mirren didn’t kill anybody in Reds? Not once. That’s precisely why the movie sucks.

8:58pm: Is this Sidney Poitier speaking or James Lipton?

8:56pm: I’ll be tremendously disappointed if Freeman doesn’t close his speech with “Get busy living, or get busy dying.”

8:53pm: I’ve been informed I mistakenly attributed 3 syllables to ‘Williams’ in my Marylin Haiku Review. My retort: Williams is so great, her name alone transcends the bisyllabic.

8:46pm: The sexiest man alive is NOT presenting the Best Supporting Actress award right now.

8:45pm: Hey, it’s Joey from Friends! What’s he been up to lately?

8:42pm: Crap. Apparently it was more important to spew culturally insensitive live-blog posts during the commercial break than to go to the bathroom. Now the show’s back on…

8:41pm: For Farhadi to go from the homosexual-free Iran all the way to Hollywood, must have been a MAJOR culture shock.

8:34pm: My review of A Separation. When it hits the States, you owe it to yourself to see it.

8:33pm: A Separation wins. Finally, a movie that deserves its Globe win.

8:31pm: Oh hi, Ricky! Haven’t seen you for a while.

8:28pm: Dude, did Jessica Lange lead the forces of Hogwarts against Voldemort and the Death Eaters? Because Maggie Smith did. That’s all I’m saying.

8:26pm: My Midnight in Paris Haiku Review: I’m alone here / With my indifference toward  / Midnight in Paris.

8:24pm: (Gasp!!!!) It’s Filliam H. Muffman, and it’s singing!!!

8:16pm: Rango was immensely overrated. Tintin was not. I’m actually quite happy to have been incorrect with that prediction.

8:14pm: Is Channing Tatum’s neck wider than his cranium?

8:13pm: I kid – I’m too poor to own HBO. haven’t seen it yet. Don’t hate me. Still, Martin (and the rest of the world too) was wrong about that Lost finale.

8:11pm: Lost > Game of Thrones. Take THAT, George R.R. Martin nerds!!!

8:08pm: Meek’s Cutoff was funnier than My Week With Marylin.

8:07pm: By the way, I was rooting for Bridesmaids‘ Kristen Wiig. As great as McCarthy is, Wiig is what makes the movie work in so many different ways. A truly great COMEDIC performance.

8:06pm: My official My Week With Marylin review – in Haiku form! — Williams is great / that’s more than I can say for / the film around her.

8:01pm: Michelle Williams wins in, as Seth Rogen put it, the “hysterical Comedy” My Week With Marylin.

7:59pm: Let’s be honest, the only reason Elba won for Luther was for his major snub for the movie Thor.

7:58pm: I’ve not seen Luther, but I’ve seen The Wire. Therefore, Idris Elba deserved to win.

7:55pm: Wow. I’ve been getting a lot of new Twitter followers tonight. I should live-tweet/blog the Globes every day!

7:53pm: Alonso Duralde’s Twitter feed is a chance to read the snide remarks of a far snarkier, far gayer movie critic than I could ever hope to be.

7:51pm: Yep. 1 for 3. Fortunately, my integrity can dwindle no further.

7:50pm: You’re right, Madonna…you have NO excuse.

7:48pm: Note on John Williams’ War Horse score – it drove me nuts watching the movie, but I am tempted to buy the soundtrack, given how gorgeous it sounds on its own.

7:47pm: Ludovic Bource: “I’m sorry I’m French.” Finally – SOMEBODY is brave enough to say it!

7:44pm: Best song and score coming up. I’m prepared to be 1 for 3 now…

7:39pm: I need to see Homeland, but I should probably give that 24 show a try first. I heard it’s pretty decent.

7:37pm: Yeah, I’m sure Boss is great, but I’m still waiting for those Frasier and Cheers reunions. Get on it, Doc!

7:32pm: Jeremy Irons is manhandling the HFPA president like his Margin Call character manhandled the finance industry’s….uhhh….nah, I just can’t finish that quip.

7:31pm: Mildred Pierce director Todd Haynes and I have the same birthday. I thought you would like to know.

7:28pm: Nope…still needs a Tony I guess. Hope leaving a husband with a stage background didn’t effectively shoot those chances in the foot.

7:27pm: Wait…did Winslet just win herself her EGOT?!?!

7:26pm: In all serious, I would have Kate Winslet’s babies if she’d have me.

7:25pm: I have this theory that Kate Winslet divorced Sam Mendes upon watching the truly dreadful Away We Go.

7:22pm: I really expected the miniseries about rich American white people problems to win over the miniseries about rich British white people problems.

7:18pm: Aaaaand Alex Carlson just entered the Live-Tweeting game. Welcome aboard, boss!

7:16pm: Quoth my boyfriend: [Laura Dern] has come a long way since she first shoved her hand in a pile of dinosaur poo.

7:13pm: Our own Vinny Tagle is now live-tweeting the Globes. Kindly follow him.

7:13pm: One for one so far. Think I can keep it up?

7:10pm: Hold on a bit. I need a moment to recover from Gerard Butler’s scathing jab at Gervais.

7:07pm: If you looked carefully, you could have seen Tim Burton directing Johnny Depp to the stage to present.

7:06pm: Hate the Globes, check out Scott Weinberg‘s anti-Globes rantings.

7:02pm: Jodie Foster – such a trooper for all those “Beaver” jokes.

7:00pm: Banal Fashion Commentary over. Show’s starting now.

6:57pm: Sofia Vergara is wearing Vera Wang. In case you were curious what I’m wearing tonight, it’s a black t-shirt and Homer Simpson pajama bottoms.

6:54pm: Quick TV talk – Bryan Cranston was awesome in Drive, but his Breaking Bad work is truly unprecedented. Do catch up with it if you haven’t.

6:51pm: I just saw Newt Gingrich dance on a promo for Jay Leno, who’s got Sam Worthington on as a guest. I didn’t realize so many awful things could be compressed into a single sentence like that.

6:45pm: My boyfriend just learned Ryan Kwanten is actually Australian. I think he is about to die.

6:42pm: Tina Fey is at the Globes this year. I want to go to there.

6:41pm: Quoth frequent Film Misery commenter @DuncanHoust: “Natalie Portman’s not pregnant anymore, so why is she still dressed like she is?” Ouch.

6:40pm: Alex gets to live-blog the Oscars. I get the Golden Globes. I guess this what a Film Misery internship looks like.

6:35pm: The top of Salma Hayek’s dress looks a little like the Transformers Optimus Prime symbol.

6:33pm: I really, really want Viola Davis’ hairdo, and I am completely sincere.

6:29pm: Somehow I don’t think, for Morgan Freeman, that picking his favorite role is like picking his favorite child.

6:28pm: Live-blogging has officially begun, with 32 minutes until the telecast begins. Can’t wait to see the awesome variety of men’s attire to be on display.

Follow Film Misery on Twitter:

Justin (@JustinJagoe)
Vinny (@vincenzotagle)
Alex (@filmmisery)

* All times are Central Standard Time (CST).

View the Golden Globe Award Film Nominations

Predicted Winners

Best Picture (Drama)
The Descendants

Best Picture (Comedy/Musical)
The Artist

Best Actor (Drama)
George Clooney, The Descendants

Best Actress (Drama)
Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady

Best Actor (Comedy/Musical)
Jean Dujardin, The Artist

Best Actress (Comedy/Musical)
Michelle Williams, My Week With Marylin

Best Supporting Actor
Christopher Plummer, Beginners

Best Supporting Actress
Octavia Spencer, The Help

Best Director
Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist

Best Screenplay
The Descendants

Best Original Song
“The Living Proof,” The Help

Best Original Score
Howard Shore, Hugo

Best Animated Film
Rango

Best Foreign Language Film
A Separation 

Actual Winners

Best Picture (Drama)
The Descendants

Best Picture (Comedy/Musical)
The Artist

Best Actor (Drama)
George Clooney, The Descendants

Best Actress (Drama)
Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady

Best Actor (Comedy/Musical)
Jean Dujardin, The Artist

Best Actress (Comedy/Musical)
Michelle Williams, My Week With Marylin

Best Supporting Actor
Christopher Plummer, Beginners

Best Supporting Actress
Octavia Spencer, The Help 

Best Director
Martin Scorsese, Hugo

Best Screenplay
Midnight in Paris

Best Original Song
“Masterpiece,” W.E.

Best Original Score
Ludovic Bource, The Artist

Best Animated Film
The Adventures of Tintin

Best Foreign Language Film
A Separation

My Score: 9 out of 14.

Feature Films with More than One Win:

The Artist – 3 Wins
The Descendants – 2 Wins

Justin has been subjecting the masses to his online movie ramblings since 2009, and has been writing for Film Misery since 2011. When he isn’t wasting his hours defending the value of Steven Spielberg’s latter-year output or...Full Bio.