Golden Globes Starhump Their Way Into Idiocy

For as much as I love the Golden Globes, I hate the Golden Globes. The notorious starf***ers of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association often overlook talent in favor of star power and fill their ceremony with “what’s hip” rather than “what’s great.” For this year’s ceremony they aim to increase their ratings by 10 percent, so you can bet they will be touting their stars like never before.

In her latest column, the New York Times Carpetbagger Melena Ryzik reports that the producers of the Golden Globes have made some curious moves to boost their audience. For instance, they have placed the Twilight superhunk and talentless buffoon Taylor Lautner at the Hurt Locker table with the likes of nominees Kathryn Bigelow and screenwriter Mark Boal. Apparently the soon-to-be Oscar winner Bigelow and the film’s stars Jeremy Renner and Anthony Mackie aren’t “big enough” to get their own table. I’ll bet that whenever they cut to the Hurt Locker table, Lautner is the one we see.

Furthering the stupidity of the Globes’ producers, (500) Days of Summer writers Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weber, whose film is nominated for the Best Comedy/Musical Globe, have yet to find out if they’re even invited. The amount of space available at the tables is quickly being filled up by “bigger stars.” Fitting the Hollywood cliche, it is once again the writers who get the shaft.

The Globes are being broadcast on NBC amid all of the controversy going on with NBC’s booting of Conan O’Brien from the normal late night schedule. I’ll proudly say that along with 83% of Americans, I am on Team Conan. Because of the idiotic moves of the Globes producers and the fact that they are being broadcast on NBC, I’m secretly hoping that the telecast fails.

The one bright spot of the night is host Ricky Gervais. If anyone can deflate the egos of the stars in the audience, Gervais can. I’m hoping that he brings his A-game and doesn’t hold back from downright insulting Lautner, the Globes, and NBC.

I love the Golden Globes, but oh how I hate the Golden Globes.

[Source: The Carpetbagger]

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  • skip

    Just discovered your column via a twitter RT. Good stuff. Count me in.

    Yes, everyone seems bound and determined to have a female get best director for an ‘action’ flick. Talent means zip, here.

  • Unlike you, I don’t both love and hate the “Globes”. I just hate them. I still watch them occasionally, but I don’t care for them at all.

  • Brandon Cooley

    Sometimes I like the golden globes and sometimes I don’t. The last three best picture winners didn’t deserve to win, but this year the nominees are much better.

  • Andr913

    I flat-out hate the Globes (though I will give them A LITTLE credit for last year’s Best Pic choice, since Slumdog is not as bad as people say). Nine and It’s Complicated? Really?

    And please, someone kill Taylor Lautner. He has not made a single good movie. He probably thinks he’ll get an Oscar for Best Supporting because of the morons over at People’s Choice.

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